Tomorrow I have what was meant to be my final PT eval. The "plan" set forth was for 13 weeks. They let me make appointments for 12 weeks worth of Tuesdays, I set it up with my sub. 3 appointments were missed, cancelled or altered by them and never made up. My schedule is just too tight for this weekday stuff and I had no options. So tomorrow I do this eval with the gal who did my intake appointment, but now I have the option (because of insurance approvals and the like) to do those few other appointments in the near future should I decide they will benefit me. I am not sure I will. I have a very full folder of excercises to do. I get to about 1/3 of them each day (doing the same ones 2-3 times thru the day, then I choose different ones the next day...sort of a rotating basis I just sorta wing it thru).
Some hurt...ALOT. Others I am more successful at and that makes me feel accomplished. That is key for me, sadly. I can say that since starting PT, I can move alot more. I can turn my head alot more. I have overall better range of motion. But I am in pain. Every. Single. Day.
I am not sure what the next part will be, but I will need to find a peace with this somehow, reclaim my body at some point, somehow. The willpower is just totally gone. I expend all of my energy working thru my pain. The future just might not be what I had hoped it would be. But I, of all people, know that can change in a breath. I will look to a positive outcome in some way!
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